newme50

Funny how we love to talk about our successes, but hide in the background when things don’t go so well. Yeah, I’m still checking in most days but don’t have anything to say. I’ve been stuck for weeks, soon turning to months. I was on fire from Jan. to May, then it stopped. My work hours increased for the summer and I find myself more tired , cranky, blue. Finances aren’t good, and I feel overwhelmed most days. I’m taking a few days off starting tomorrow, maybe that will help. I know what I need to do to re-start the weight loss, but seem to have lost my will to do it. I just seem to not give a damn. I want the weight to come off, I have managed to maintain my loss so far, but seem to sabotage myself just enough every single week to keep from succeeding. Am I unconsciously doing this or am I just over-stressed, and over-worked? I don’t know. I am more prone to having a few drinks, which may be due to it being summer, but when I do that , I eat more as well. I’m getting a bit tired of the same old food choices, but don’t have time or energy to do anything about it. Anyone got any ideas of how to get out of this slump? I have not been a good buddy and I apologize to the Wildcats for not being much help. I haven’t quit, because I think if I stopped coming here, my weight would start going up for sure! This is helping to keep me accountable, but I really am teetering.
Hmmm…reading over this post, I sure sound depressed. Maybe that is the root of this whole problem. Might soon be time for a visit with the family doctor. There is certainly a family history. It might also be connected to hormonal changes…I am a woman of a certain age…..I think I will get a check up. There might be something to this afterall.
Wishing you all a Happy Canada Day weekend !

Not unexpected after last weeks 4 pound loss. Thought that was too good to be true. I now think I was dehydrated and got a false reading. 4 pound loss was a bit unrealistic with my diet and exercise…2 pounds was more likely. Now I show a 2 pound gain, which I don’t think is so accurate. I’m not going to obsess about it. I just have to buckle down this week and get back on track…. still….bit by bit going down…some weeks better than others…keeping my eye on the goal…trying not to get discouraged. I have too many positive role models here to fail…I will prevail!

Neither could I. I never heard of it before I went to the doctor. I had a belly bump that has gotten more pronounced the more I lost. Everything else was shrinking but that. I also could not do situps or crunches without it taking my breath away. I now know why. You guessed it….diastasis recti! Aha! Aha what??? What the heck is that?? Well….apparently the two long muscles that go down the front of the abdomen are supposed to be joined together. Mine have minds of their own and have set off on thier own in different directions. This is not a really big deal , but my doctor says it should be fixed and that will get rid of my belly bump. The best part is that she wants me within 20-30 pounds of my ideal weight , because she thinks she can get the surgeon to do a tummy tuck at the same time. Wouldn’t that be awesome! I will have a lot of loose skin once I reach my goal, and I can’t afford cosmetic surgery, but with an actual medical condition, I may get it fixed for free. *fingers crossed* That would be like winning the lottory! I’m also excused from doing crunches and sit-ups until it’s repaired. Now that does not break my heart. I’ll do some more research, but that’s my undertanding of it so far. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated. She expects I won’t be ready for surgery for another 8 months or so, so the more I know the better.
I also earned my sit down time today. We did a lot of yard work, digging , planting, weeding….the place looks darn good if I do say so myself! Hope you all had a great day, and have a super weekend! Love you guys!

The sun is shining and I gotta get off my butt and move!!! Move more , eat less!! I’ll catch up with you all a little later , when the sun sets and I’ve done enough to earn some down time.

Well, I guess wearing clothes that fit really does make a difference. I finally wore a shirt that fit to work , and you’d think I’d dropped the weight overnight. It was quite a surprise that I had shrunk so much , to the people I work with.
It was nice that people finally noticed. I was beginning to think they’d never see it. I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow. She should be impressed with my progress..I know I am!!

I’ve had excuses for as long as I can remember for why I’m heavy. Things that happened in my childhood, patterns set in my childhood. The thing is…I’m not a child anymore and if I am conscious of what I’m putting in my body, then I am making a conscious choice to do that. I take responsibility as an adult for what I eat , and if I choose to nurture or abuse my body. I think that is what makes this time different for me. I am not falling back on excuses….”genetics… my whole family is big”, “I have a strenuous job and am too tired for exercise”, “I’m hungry”,”I’m big-boned”, “I was abused as a child and my weight is protection”, “I don’t have time to eat properly”., “I’m depressed”…..the only one I was hurting with these excuses was myself. I’m an adult, I can choose destructive behavior or choose to live a healthy lifestlye. I’m a smart girl, I know the difference. No-one said it was going to be easy all the time. A lot of “adult ” things are not….like relationships, finances, child-rearing, work, illnesses….but we manage to cope with these challenges. I think eating is so closely connected with trauma , and childhood comfort, that it’s the toughest of all deal with dispassionately. All the more reason to bring it out into the light and look at it for what it is. An out-dated coping mechanism that doesn’t work for us anymore. It is self -destructive behavior that has no place in the the life of someone that wants to embrace life and living. This revaluation came to me when I was close to turning 50 and wasn’t sure I could stay in the workforce due to my increasing medical problems…all brought or exacerbated by my excess weight. When I found myself hiding in the washroom crying because I was in so much pain , I didn’t know how I could make it through the rest of the day , and knew I was not doing the job I was hired to do because I was carrying so much extra weight, I knew something had to change. I like myself so much more now, and respect myself for taking back control of my life. Sure. life is not always easy. My husband is disabled, money is tight, the car breaks down…..but you know, I have lost almost 60 pounds and everything is easier now. I like myself better, I have more confidence about the future and my ability to cope and I am so much more at peace. This is a journey, and there will be bumps in the road, but you will come to love yourself and regain pride, and confidence once you take control , that is yours to take . This site has been a tremendous help….reading the stories of others, and hey…Sandys no nonsense attitude has been a great inspiration. Anyway…that’s my rant for today.

This week has been really stressful. The car needs major body work to pass the safety inspection, my step-son hasn’t been working and needed money for rent and groceries (money we could not afford) which my husband gave him, hence the fight that ensued. Where’s the positive in this? Where are the pearls ?I was so mad, disappointed and hurt that I completely edged my garden, did some planting, took the dog for a brisk walk, came back and told my husband how I felt, then drank 3 beer. (hey, I didn’t claim to be perfect!) I did not stuff my face, I worked out some anger, I took a brisk walk to think about my feelings, I came back and talked them out. I did not wallow in self pity, I did not swallow my feelings, I did not eat to comfort myself…well…I did have a few beer to relax a bit, but I think that too will pass in time. It’s only been 5 months people , and I have a lifetime of bad habits to change. Oh…and of course we made up.
This is a huge change in coping from just a few short months ago. So much more positive and healthy.
I love watching people transform on this site. Not just physically, which is incredible , but the growth and change. It’s like they’re waking up from a long nap and experiencing the world in a whole new way.
I know for me food has actually become a whole lot less important. It really is becoming fuel, and I prefer using pure fuel without a bunch of additives , and chemicals. This way of eating is becoming natural for me. I’m conscious of trigger foods and avoid them, but am not nearly as obsessive as I was. I don’t think I’m so afraid of food anymore. I used to give it so much power. I felt powerless over my eating.
That’s probably why I’m losing slower now, but I’m ok with that. This is a permanent change for me, not a race to a finish line. This will never end. I will eat this way forever now, so if the weight comes off slower…it’s still coming off. If it stops, I know how to start it again….more exercise, less calories. I feel in control now. I know I can do this. Almost 5 months and 55 pounds gone. I am transforming, and becoming a much healthier person in so many ways.
I feel more at peace , and I really enjoy sharing this journey with so many others. I love reading about Doreyt running, Sandy wogging, Harleygirl getting her motorcycle license, Loulous growing confidence , Angelas determination, Kamas spectacular success, Chrisies adventurous spirit, Cristals strength, Little Flowers kryptonite….the demon pizza, Linsey reaching her goal and looking absolutely stunning, Sams dramas, konadads reaching out to others, bonecutters plateaus, family problems, health issues,…..all these different people sharing joys and sorrows, inspiring, supporting and encouraging others.
I can’t name you all, but you all touch my heart, and are a big part of my success. Keep blogging, and if you’re feeling discouraged, hang on, ask for help . This works people, and we can change , we can succeed, we are all winners.

The packrat, aka my mother rarely parts with anything. About 20 years ago I had given her some clothes I had “outgrown”. These were some quality pieces that I had been lucky enough to get at discounted prices, but were classic , and I think timeless pieces….from a time when I dressed much better …. Yesterday she gave them back to me! I couldn’t believe she still had them , much less could find them. They actually fit! I haven’t been this small in 20 years! It sure feel good to wear old clothes.

Today was perfect for baking. It was a cold , wet , miserable day outside. I really wanted to bake something and we had a lot of overripe bananas. Banana bread was the perfect solution. The house would smell delicious, we’d use up the old bananas and have a nice dessert for after supper. I don’t bake much anymore so it’s a real treat. Of course I don’t want any high calorie desserts in the house, so I simply substitute splenda for sugar and applesauce for oil. The texture changes a bit….but the flavour is great and the calories are way, way down. It’s a guilt free trick. I use it for muffins and pies too. I’m sure most of you know about these tricks, but I thought I’d post them for those who might not know. My husband was thrilled with the banana bread tonight. He didn’t even realize it was sugarfree and fat free.

Doing my happy dance! My disheartening plateau is finally behind me. After weeks of no losses and last week actually gaining two pounds back, I lost a remarkable , stupendous ,intoxicating 5 pounds!!! I blew past my second mini-goal by 2 pounds and even this rain today cannot dampen my spirits. I guess you just have to remember it is a lifestyle change, and as long as you keep plugging away you’ll succeed. The important thing is not to give up. I guess my body was just adjusting to that first 50 pounds and is ready to start working on the next 50. Yep…a total of 53 pounds off as of today, since Jan. I’m really pleased. My BMI has dropped by 10 , and I put my garden in , in record time this year. My mom reminded me of how hard it was for me last year because my back hurt, my shoulders ached, bending and squatting were very difficult. This year I was like the energizer bunny. I was a bit stiff this morning , but that was it. I did in one day , what it took me most of the week to do last year. Wow , what a difference!
I set a new mini-goal….I am now at my lowest weight in over 10 years, and losing over 50 pounds I feel 10 years younger.
Now I read a lot about wogging….but somehow missed the explanation of what it is. I can guess , but am not sure if I’m right. Will one of you to so kind as to define it for me, so I don’t have to go digging through old blogs to find it. I’d really appreciate it. Thanks to all for the support and have a fabulous Victoria Day weekend!
(Canadian holiday to celebrate Queen Victorias birthday) or there abouts. See ya!